Impress me
by Fayth3
Summary: After Brainiac- The guys at Crash. Drinks, Karaoke- Twisted imagination. (MA undertones)


Impress me  
  
Fayth fayth82@yahoo.co.uk  
  
Summary- Don't ask. Pure unadulterated Fluff.  
  
Disclaimer- Oh yeah not even I'm that whack.  
  
Spoilers- Takes place during season 2's Brainiac.  
  
Inspired by Terriwyrms "Like I even care" video- its great find it- download and marvel!  
  
Shania Twain own "That don't impress me much."  
  
Feedback- You know you want to!  
  
ALEC POV  
  
See that was the great thing about being transgenic. You could drink twice as much as everyone else and still not be drunk…that is if you hadn't already drank two drinks for their every one.  
  
Alec mused silently as he downed his sixth beer- or was it his seventh? Whatever. He was only drinking because Max had at long last invited him out with them. She had invited him.  
  
It was definitely a red letter day, Max had finally asked for his company instead of just his help.  
  
Originally he had thought that this day would suck. He had discovered that Asha had only pretended to write down his number, not that he had wanted to give the oh-so-annoying-blonde his number anyway, whether she wanted to write it down or not. I mean the girl had a crush on Logan she shouldn't have been in S1W, she should be in a straight jacket.   
  
And then he had been railroaded into looking for this Brain guy which in true Max style meant chases through warehouses and being shot at while running away in a very unmanly way, even if he did get to ogle Max on the way- but who could pay attention to a sashaying piece of perfection when they were worried about getting shrapnel near the crown jewels?- yeah, ok, he could, but who else?. Watching Max's ass notwithstanding Alec had really had enough. But then Max had invited them all out to Crash to relax after the hectic day.  
  
Asha sat with her head on Logan's arm- actually she leant with her head on his arm- not like she actually removed her head and…  
  
…Alec briefly wondered exactly how much he had had to drink but then shook off his random thoughts- anyway Logan had tensed and looked at Max but she shrugged and so he left it there.   
  
It looked like she was finally getting over the "Eyes Only" operative, and not a moment too soon. The guy was way too stodgy and he had only consented to drink two beers because he was sooo responsible. Still he was such a light weight that he was drunk from those. Alec stifled a giggle- wuss.  
  
Sketchy was almost comatose and O.C kept having to prop him up so he didn't fall off his chair and Brain was sitting with a stupid grin on his face calculating exactly how much further O.C had to slump before he could see down her top and the chances that she wouldn't notice and smack him.  
  
Only he and Max were really still alert. Reasonably alert.  
  
A squeal from the microphone system pierced his eardrums and went straight through his brain.   
  
"Dammit." Max with her genetically enhanced hearing was similarly impaired as they both clapped their hands over their ears.   
  
"Hey Folks." said the guy standing behind the mike with a huge smirk. "It's Thursday and we all know what that is!"  
  
O.C stared blearily into her drink "Wait a minute Boo- ain't there a reason why we avoid Crash on a Thursday?"  
  
"It's Thursday?" Sketchy opened one eye to ask.  
  
"Yeah." Max nodded confused "We always avoid Crash on a Thursday."  
  
"We're at Crash?" everyone ignored Sketchy as they tried to think why they always avoided this night.  
  
"That's right Folks its Karaoke night!"  
  
"Arghh!" Six sets of lungs screamed making people around them stare.   
  
"Can we eshcape?" Logan asked desperately.  
  
Max looked at a sleeping Asha and the Sketchy who was slowly sliding down the table onto the floor.  
  
"Not all of us." She pouted "We can't leave anyone behind."  
  
"Oh Maxie, c'mon?" Alec asked as he tried to make it to the exit, he couldn't stay here! Karaoke- bad. Manticore, Human ritual and degradation 101.  
  
"No if we can't save us all then we all have to stay." She stated resolutely with that adorable pout that, for some reason, always made him think of cherries. "We can stick it out we're soldiers."  
  
"We are?" Sketchy asked from somewhere around table level.  
  
"Ok." Alec said with a nod and braced himself for the onslaught.  
  
"I can schave everybody." Logan stated firmly with a slur. "I know Eyeshonly."  
  
"Me too!" Brain volunteered "I calculate a 98.782% chance that Logan Cale is actually Eyes only."  
  
"What's the two percent?" Alec frowned, his beer beginning to wear off- Damn genetics!  
  
"I doubt he has the brain power to pull it off." Brain looked forlornly into his drink.  
  
Alec snickered and Logan looked in two minds whether to be insulted.  
  
"Hey jusss becuss I'm ressponsib- resbonsip-" Logan frowned  
  
"Responsible?" Alec offered and Logan pounced pointing a finger.  
  
"Yes! Reponsabble, doesn't mean that I'm stupid. I'm designated driver." He said proudly "And I offer you all a lift home." He paused "Exschept Max."  
  
"Hey!" she shrilled "Why not me?"  
  
"You have muddy shoes and you can't get Bessie dirty." He said with an apologetic look.   
  
Max rolled her eyes. "Whatever."  
  
Alec exchanged glances with Max and they shared a smile at the strange behaviour of their friends.  
  
"Who's gonna sing?" O.C asked suddenly.  
  
"What?" Max opened her eyes wide "Why do any of us have to?"  
  
"Because every other table has someone who's gonna sing- I don't wanna be the only one not." O.C maintained.  
  
"Girls got a point." Brain said with a nod "She had 78% percent certainty that we will be looked down on if one us doesn't sing tonight. The best scenario's involve Pretty boy or Max."  
  
"Pretty boy?" Alec smoothed down his hair "Only O.C calls me that."  
  
"Well I can't sing." O.C finished with a grin.  
  
"I may be hanging around for bizarre reasons that I can't divulge but even I have limits." Alec nodded to himself, grinning at the thought of his reasons. Hehe heh Max ha ha.  
  
"I don't think I can stand." Asha confessed.  
  
"S'up?" Sketchy slurred from floor level.  
  
"I can do it for I am Eyeschonly!" Logan puffed out his chest and went to get to his feet but Alec pushed him down.  
  
"Yeah but I don't think you want to tell all the nice sober people that! Isn't it supposed to be a secret?"  
  
Logan burst into chagrined giggles "Oh yeah- forgot!"   
  
Max rolled her eyes.  
  
"I would but I think that 40% percent of people would forget that I am on the stage and the other 50% wouldn't care." Brain looked down again "I need another drink."  
  
Max frowned "What about the other 10%"  
  
"They can get their own." Brain hugged his pitcher possessively.   
  
"That leaves you Maxie." Alec grinned charmingly at her "Go sing."  
  
"Don't wanna." She whined and folded her arms over her chest.  
  
"Please?" Alec pouted playfully at her "Just for me?"  
  
His puppy dog eyes must finally have made their way through the Max ice shield barrier because she huffed and stood up "Alright."  
  
Alec did a double take "For real? For me?"  
  
"Yeah dumbass," she left it at that before walking away.  
  
Well that was an interesting development. Alec thought as his system began to kick out all the alcohol. It was the same system that made them so immune to disease. The nanotechnology in their blood would ferret out foreign objects and poisons and boot them out. Alcohol was another poison and so he could never stay drunk for very long. Part of him was disappointed because things were so much funnier when he was blasted but part of him was relieved because he wanted to be sober for Max's performance.   
  
"Issat Max?" Logan blinked as she walked away.  
  
Alec ignored him in favour of watching her wave away the emcees offer of dialogue across the screen and scanned the words into her brain.  
  
"Ok. This is for the guys in my life." Max smiled at him and Alec felt a knot tighten in his stomach.  
  
He paused as a guitar riff filled the air and Max smirked turning to Brain who grinned stupidly back at her.  
  
I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart  
  
But you've got being right down to an art   
  
Max rolled her eyes and Brain's face fell as he registered the words.  
  
You think you're a genius-you drive me up the wall  
  
You're a regular original, a know-it-all   
  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else   
  
Okay, so you're a rocket scientist  
  
She shrugged and then grinned impishly.  
  
That don't impress me much  
  
So you got the brain but have you got the touch  
  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
  
That don't impress me much   
  
Brain smiled as she said that she thought he was alright and blew him a kiss. Alec smirked until she turned her attention to him with a sexy pout.  
  
I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket  
  
And a comb up his sleeve-just in case  
  
And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it  
  
'Cause Heaven forbid it should fall outta place   
  
Alec's hand flew to his hair and he scowled. But Max just chuckled.  
  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else   
  
Okay, so you're Alec  
  
That don't impress me much  
  
So you got the looks but have you got the touch  
  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
  
She bit her lip and gave him a huge smile. Alec couldn't help but smile back. Ok so she had a point. He was Alec.  
  
But hey she had just said that she thought he was alright. Did that mean that she thought he was alright alright or just alright? Unbeknownst to him he now sported the same smile that Brain did.  
  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
  
That don't impress me much   
  
Max turned to Logan who preened and puffed out his chest.   
  
You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine  
  
You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in  
  
I can't believe you kiss your car good night  
  
C'mon baby tell me-you must be jokin', right?  
  
"No." Logan sulked "Bessie is special. She needs her goodnight kiss."   
  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else   
  
Okay, so you've got a car  
  
That don't impress me much  
  
So you got the moves but have you got the touch  
  
  
  
Alec choked on a laugh- got the touch? As if, if they touched he'd keel over. Somehow that was hysterical to him, he laughed and Logan shot him an insulted look.  
  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night   
  
That don't impress me much  
  
You think you're cool but have you got the touch  
  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
  
But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night  
  
That don't impress me much   
  
Okay, so what do you think you're Elvis or something...  
  
Whatever  
  
That don't impress me  
  
Max finished her song with a bow and the audience erupted into applause. Alec joined them; she really did have a beautiful voice.  
  
Max headed back to the table and finished her beer.  
  
"Do you really think I'm alright?" Alec asked as soon as she got back.  
  
"Sure why?" She wanted to know.  
  
"No reason." He evaded and the burst into his trademark smile "Plus you think I'm hot."  
  
"Do not."  
  
"Do too."  
  
"Do not."  
  
"Do too."  
  
"Do NOT."  
  
"Do TOO, you said so on the stage. Said I'd got the looks."  
  
She paused "Huh. So I did."  
  
"Maxie thinks I'm hot." He sing-songed.   
  
"Shut up."  
  
"I'm hot." Logan offered "Asha said so."  
  
"Yeah." Asha looked blearily at him "But you have a fuzzy face now so I take it back."  
  
Logan looked outraged "You can't take it back!"  
  
Alec turned to Max to see her watching him with a funny look on her face. She dropped her eyes abruptly and finished her beer.   
  
"I'm tired, gotta blaze."   
  
O.C nodded and then pointed to the stage.  
  
"That was damn great girl, where you been hidin' that set a pipes on ya?" O.C laughed "We are now gonna be hittin' up every damn karaoke joint for a prize boo."  
  
"Oh no Cin my singing career is nonexistent." Max frowned "You coming home boo?"  
  
"Nah I'm gonna have another drink with my friend here." She looked to her side where Sketchy was supposed to be and then down at the floor to where Sketchy was.  
  
"There was a 100% certainty that that was nicest song anyone's ever sung to me." Brain sobbed into his beer. "The only one too."  
  
"There, there Brain." Alec patted him awkwardly. "No cause for crying."  
  
"I l-love youu Alec." Brain wiped his nose on a napkin "You are such a good friend and there's a 56% percent chance that it's mutual."  
  
"Yeah whatever." Alec thought the big guys calculations were off a little.  
  
"You sure you gotta jet?" he asked Max but she didn't look him in the face.  
  
"Yeah." she nodded "Feeling a bit weird.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Maybe she's upset because she insulted Bessie?" Logan said his lips tight in anger "She should apologize to Bessie. Bessie's my car. The car belonging to Eyes Only. Special."  
  
"Why are you talking like Joshua?" Alec frowned.  
  
"I'm not feeling weird because I insulted Bessie." Max maintained irately "Stupid car."  
  
"Can't we all be friends?" Sketchy's voice floated up from the floor.  
  
"Yup." hiccupped Asha as she slumped down under the table to join him.  
  
Max's lips twitched.  
  
"Blazing." She walked away from the table.  
  
"Hey Maxie wait up." Alec ran after her "What did you mean you feel weird?"   
  
"Just you know weird."  
  
"Weird because you're gonna hurl and you don't want me to think you're a lightweight?"  
  
"Jerk." She pushed him in the stomach and he fought the urge to follow on his words.  
  
His bottom lip quivered "Am I a jerk Maxie?"  
  
"No." she sighed  
  
"So why the weird?"  
  
"Because that song just kinda hit home. Logan doesn't impress me anymore- yeah he's alright."  
  
"But he won't keep you warm in the night." Alec nodded "Brain would smother you and I'm pretty sure Logan steals the covers."  
  
Max looked incredulously at him for a moment and then burst out in the first genuine laughter he had ever seen on her.  
  
"I'm more than just a pretty face and a great body and superhuman strength and did I mention I have superhuman stamina you know."  
  
"And a superhuman ego." She finished with an amused glance.  
  
"C'mon," he cajoled "Let me keep you warm."  
  
Max slowly gave him the once over. "Okay."  
  
He blinked "Okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
His face split into the most adorable smile and he ducked his head pressing his lips to hers. It was a quick kiss and from behind them they heard a moan which pulled them out of it.  
  
"Lets get out of here." He urged.  
  
She grabbed his hand and dragged him out the door and onto her motorbike. She paused  
  
"Hang on Alec are you drunk?"  
  
"Sober." He stopped and stared at her "You?"  
  
"Sober."  
  
They grinned together  
  
"Damn genetics."  
  
He pulled her to him and kissed her again. Inwardly chortling at the direction things were going. I'm kissing Max, I'm kissing Max  
  
They deepened the kiss thankful to Manticore for their underwater lessons in breathing.  
  
She broke away first and gave a sigh.  
  
"Ok, now that impressed me."  
  
And Alec raised a sexy eyebrow. "You ain't seen nothing yet."   
  
The End. 


End file.
